Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Thank You po Lord!

I ended my 2012 praying for Kaitlin and my relationship with Totskie. Now I'm ending 2013 thanking the Lord for those answered prayers. 2012 and 2013 were the best years I've had ever and I know 2014 will be added to that list of fave years. And I thank the Lord in advance for that. 

Friday, December 20, 2013

And the year ends

today is the last day of work. yey! and we ended it like a family celebrating Christmas together. ang saya. i'm so blessed with this fam bam. God bless our 2014!

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Crazy Love

5-minutes away and we're facetiming.:D love is crazy, is it not? well Somebody died on the cross for me and that's absolutely crazeeee. i can feel Christmas!!!

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

I will never forget the day

It's cold and windy outside. So let's get a bit mushy and throwback the most significant Thursday of my life...our wedding day. I decided to post it here so I will never forget...

I will never forget the day when I prayed that the Lord would give me a husband that fears Him and loves Him more than He would love me. Today, that prayer is granted. You are an answered prayer, Totskie. I will forever be grateful to Him that you came into my life right when I needed you most.

In front of your family, my family, and our friends, I promise to do my best to be a good wife to you, just as it is written in Proverbs 31. I will fix our bed in the morning, fold and organize your clothes in your closet, sing to you love songs til you fall asleep, dance with you on silly moments even if Kinect is not turned on, take off the head of the prawns so you could eat continuously, wipe your sweat after your regular 52k run, pray for your good everyday, listen to your stories, and be an angel when you need one.  I will be a reminder of God’s love for you every single day of our lives together.

I pray and will strive hard so that our love may grow more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that we may be able to know what is best for us, and be pure and blameless before our God, filled with righteousness that comes from him alone, to the glory of our God.

Five years ago, or probably more than that, I loved you. It’s around 2:00 in the afternoon today, September 20, 2012, and my heart shouts I love you with all me. In two years, I will love you. We might have kids by then, and you will still be my baby. Ten years, 20 years, 50 years, I will still love you like it’s our wedding day. When we’re in our 70’s, old, grey, and not as beautiful or handsome as we are today, I will love you. I will love you everyday, every minute, every second, from this moment on. You will always be my favorite blessing, Totskie.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

So we could be healed

After more than a month of battling with allergies, Kaitlin is now a healthy happy kiddo!:D

Kaitlin had severe allergic reaction to vaccines. And we just found this out after several shots. Days after her first rotavirus shot, her skin was covered with rashes, she had fever, cough, and colds. Two weeks later, she had her PCV shot. And her allergic reaction got worse. 

Having a sick baby is so heartbreaking especially if you're doing your best to keep her healthy. All along I thought that she was fine because I am giving her breast milk which is packed with all the nutrients she needs. But even my breast milk could cause her allergies. So I had to be on hypoallergenic diet for both of us. Five doctors/specialists checked her up but still the rashes wouldn't go away. We changed her meds and removed milk formula in her diet but to no avail. And finally, my officemate told this to her daughter who happens to be a young doctor and mother. She advised another set of meds (through text and without seeing Kaitlin). Hopeless as we are, we followed everything she said. In a span of two days, Kaitlin's rashes went away and she's jollier than ever! This implies that her allergies are gone! Praise God!:)

He was whipped so we could be healed. Isaiah 53:5

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Gratefulness is contagious

Hear out somebody's rants and you'll feel irritated and would want to rant about him too. Hear out somebody who shares nothing but how blessed he is then you'll end up being thankful as well. So let's voice out our gratefulness about things that happen to us. Blessings, whether big or small, are graces from our Father. So no matter what He has given, let us be thankful. And share it to the person next to you. 

Let me start this gratefulness cycle by saying I'm thankful today because I woke up with this adorable baby beside me begging for my milk. :D

Monday, November 11, 2013


Photo credit: http://www.philstar.com/nation/live/super-typhoon-yolandaupdates

Another heartbreaking disaster hit our land last week. When a journalist was asked what could have been done to prevent the damage brought by Yolanda, he said that there could be none. The typhoon was too strong to fight with. And just like some problems, no matter how hard you fight the battle, it only seem like you will never gain control. 

I will never forget the feeling of relief after the storm passes our place. The sun shines and this fills us with hope. Who says the battle is over? The actual fight begins right after the storm. When you kept your grip and then managed to stand up once again, then you are winning. We only lose the fight when we stop fighting.

Yes, all things work for our good for those who love the Lord. In Our Father's presence, we are always always in good hands.

Bangon, Tacloban. Fight!

P.S. Let's help them in this battle. Let's do something to keep them hoping.

Steadfast Love

Have you ever felt like the entire Bible passage you are reading was written for you (even if you have read it before several times)? I just felt this after my prayer time today. It was a strong feeling that brought me to tears. It felt like the Lord embraced me in His loving arms and captured me with His steadfast love.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Never Forget

The recent Bohol disaster broke my heart. Totskie and I had our honeymoon last year in Cebu and Bohol. For me, both places are pieces of paradise.

But thank God the people there are still grateful. I felt peace when the Loboc Children's Choir sang in the news and filled our hearts with hope that grace will come. And I can't wait to see them rise up once again and magnify the Lord with their great deed of taking good care of the riches of His creation.

Thanks to the Boholanos and Cebuanos for teaching us a great lesson: Never forget to be thankful.

source: http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/519227/thank-you-signs-sprout-up-in-bohol

Saturday, November 2, 2013


Since Kaitlin arrived, our lives totally changed. That includes having less time to date with my hubby. Our usual dates out were replaced with in house family bonding changing nappies, bathing the baby, and the like. But because it was my birthday last Wednesday, my hubby took me out on a date. We left Kaitlin to her Lola Mommy in Binan and then off we went to Acacia Hotel in Alabang to eat our hearts out. :D

Thank you thank you

Have you ever said "Thank you" and felt like it's not enough that you wanted to say it twice??? That's how I pray right now. I'm thanking God because with the passed struggles I've faced, He never let me go by myself. His comfort and assurance became my light of day. So on my 28th birthday, I felt grateful and victorious with God on my side as my mighty warrior.

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Sleeping Beauty

After a whole day of struggling not to sleep, she finally lost the battle. :D Praise the Lord!!!

Monday, October 7, 2013

New Shoes

I've got a new pair of shoes and I'm sooo happy!

When I got engaged, I promised myself that I won't buy shoes except for my wedding. Then a month after our wedding, I got preggers so again I refrained from buying shoes. After I gave birth, my feet were still swollen and so I still couldn't get a new pair of shoes.

So fast forward to two months after my delivery date and my old shoes already fit me! Finally, I've got the go signal to buy a new pair of shoes. And so I bought this pair (photo grabbed from suelas) and wore them like Cinderella did with her glass shoes. :)) Thank You Lord!

Monday, September 30, 2013

Blessed to the Max

We are blessed beyond measure! Ephesians 1:3 says: Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms of Christ Jesus. How many words with the rootword "bless" were used in that verse? Threeee! Because Paul wants us to get the message right-WE ARE SUPERDUPER BLESSED. I went on reading the chapter because I got so excited with those spiritual blessings that I have. And here they are:

1. God chose us because we are perfect in His sight because of His love for us. This embracing love is a constant comfort to us. God loves us, no buts and ifs. (Eph 1:4-10)

2. We are God's and we are designed to show His glory. We don't belong to our parents, not even to our spouse! God owns us and it feels so right! (Eph 1:11-12)

3. We are filled with the Holy Spirit. We just have to listen and believe that we are saved. (Eph 1:13-14)

I read the first chapter of Ephesians several times today and I can't help but feel grateful. Thank you Lord for blessing us more that what we deserve. You are such a generous God!

Friday, September 13, 2013

Kaitlin's Birth Story

Tomorrow is Kaitlin's baptism and we are now preparing for the party. I can't help but recall my pregnancy days until the day she was born. These memories fill my heart with gratefulness. And I was reminded I haven't posted her birth story here. So here's how our princess came out of her castle...

July 23, 2013

11:30 AM. 41 weeks+1 day of pregnancy. We had our weekly check up with the OB. Baby was ok. Bag of waters still ok (13cm). Placenta maturing (grade 3). Cervix was 2-3cm dilated with bloody discharge. OB advised induction of labor.

2:00 PM. We checked into the hospital for induction of labor.

our hospital luggage bag

waiting in the ER

4:00 PM. Half dose of oxytocin was injected on my IV fluid.

4:30 PM. I felt the first painful contraction so we started timing the intervals. Next contraction came after 40 minutes but it was not painful. Following contractions were not painful. I could actually sleep through it.

7:30 PM. OB visited for another internal exam. Cervix was still 3 cm dilated. She advised for full dose of oxytocin.

daddy timing contraction intervals

July 24, 2013

12:00 AM. I was already feeling painful but tolerable contractions. I tried to sleep.

2:00 AM. I couldn’t sleep with the pain anymore. I was having more bloody discharge.

3:00 AM. I woke up Totskie to hold me during contractions. My body was trembling every time I feel the pain.

4:00 AM. Resident doctor came to do another internal exam. My cervix was already 4-5cm. I was transferred to the labor room. Totskie and Mama transferred to the waiting room. We thought that baby would come in a few hours. In the labor room, I asked for pain reliever because I couldn’t control the trembling of my body during contractions. A fetal heart monitor was attached on my tummy. Other machines were attached to different parts of my body for vital signs monitoring.

9:00 AM. OB did an internal exam. My cervix was already 7cm dilated. My bag of waters was pierced to further induce labor.

10:00 AM. Cervix is still 7cm dilated. I prayed with every pain, grasping the bed post to contain the feeling. Then I realized, I was already jumbling the words in Hail Mary, Glory Be and Our Father. I know God didn't mind. I just held on to Him. I couldn't focus anymore. I couldn't absorb the instructions of my OB. My contractions were coming at 1 minute interval. So one minute I was asleep, the next minute I was in excruciating pain.

11:00 AM. Cervix stopped dilating at 7cm. OB said that it seemed like the baby didn't like to go out through my v. There might be a need for an emergency section. She asked me if I wanted to wait another 30 minutes and check if my cervix would still dilate. She called Totskie so we could discuss. When Totskie saw me, he knew I was exhausted. In my mind I knew I would not be able to continue with the pain. I couldn't even pee on the bed pan even if I wanted to. Since my bag of waters were already broken, baby could be at risk if we prolong the waiting. OB came back into the labor room and we gave her our go signal for emergency CS.

11:30 AM. I was transferred in the operating room. I was shivering probably because of tiredness or nervousness about the operation. But I was not afraid.

My anesthesiologist lectured about regional anesthesia then plunged the injection on my lumbar area. Numbness embraced my lower torso. A nurse said she would do a skin test. Another said she’ll inject me with anti-shivering drug. In my mind, I didn't care about the pain anymore. I just wanted to see Kaitlin soonest.

Then they used my scrub suit to cover my view to my tummy. I could feel the excitement in the air. The doctors and the nurses seemed like preparing for a party, not an operation.

12:15 PM. I heard Kaitlin cry. It’s as if the party popper has finally exploded. The doctors and the nurses exclaimed with excitement that the baby is finally out.

Ah talagang nakapwesto yung pwet n’ya dun o,” said my OB.

My anes asked, “Sinong kamukha?”

Naku, Tin, p*p* lang and contribution mo. Kamukha ng Daddy.” 

my tummy days before due date (nakakembot ang baby)

Then finally, I saw her. The pedia placed her face beside mine and somebody took a picture.
The anes wiped my mouth with cold and wet cotton ball to take away my thirst. And I dozed off.

2:00 PM. I woke up shivering inside the recovery room. I saw another mother beside me sleeping. The nurses were monitoring my vitals. I prayed hard once again, “God please take away this trembling, I’m so tired.” Then I heard Kaitlin cry. The nurse brought her to me for breastfeeding.

3:30 PM. God answered my prayer. I was not shivering anymore. I heard the nurses talking about me. My body temperature was 40 degrees Celsius and my BP was 140/90. I asked the nurse when I can go back to my room. He said it was not yet time to go back because I was having high fever.

4:30 PM. I was already alone in the recovery room. The nurses were giving me frequent sponge baths to decrease my temp.

5:30 PM. The nurses rejoiced because my temp was already 37.7. I could finally return to my room together with my baby.

When we arrived in our room, my family and relatives were already waiting. Finally, we were home. :D Welcome to the real world, my princess. 

hello world!

Monday, September 9, 2013

To Our Most Beautiful Mother

Dear Mama Mary,

We've been thru a lot since the day I met you. Your life is the best example of purity, obedience, and beauty. I'll forever be grateful that I have a mother like you, whom I can turn to all the time.

Lately I felt much closer to you than ever. I know you were with me during my pregnancy, and you embraced me while I was giving birth. And now that I'm also a mother, you are my guiding light and comforting protection. 

I love you Mama Mary. Thanks for bringing us closer to Jesus. Happy birthday!


Thursday, August 29, 2013


For the very first time, I heard Kaitlin giggle.:) Priceless.

Saturday, August 24, 2013

1st Month

Happy 1st month, baby love! I still can't help but thank the Lord every time I look at you. You are a bundle of joy, not just to me but to a lot of people around you. 

Daddy and I celebrated this day for you. I baked oreo cheesecake and Daddy cooked pancit. :) Hope you'll taste them through Mommy's milk. hihi.

And here are the five best blessings we thank about you today;
- you're not sick anymore
- new born screening results are all good
- you've already got two chins :D
- you're learning to sleep long at night
- you're enjoying mommy's milk and so you're healthy!

You are loved, Kaitlin. 

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Kaitlin's Smile

My baby is sick.:( Last night, she woke up evey hour crying. I tried to breastfeed her, change her diaper, bottlefeed her with the milk I pumped, sing lullaby, pray over her...but still she was inconsolable. At 5 o'clock in the morning, I found myself crying because I didn't know what to do.

At around 7am, Totskie woke me up to show me Kaitlin's right eye-it was swollen. This solved the mystery of our almost sleepless night that we just had but it also broke my heart even more. So we went to the hospital to have her checked by the pedia. 

Her pedia was on leave but thank heavens, my pedia was on duty. She gave medications (+unspoken comfort that everything's going to be ok) then we were sent home.

Kaitlin still cried aloud several times after that and slept most of the time. After dinner, she woke up without crying. After our feeding session, she smiled. Whoa! That gesture took away 90% of my worries. I'm sure tomorrow I'll be seeing more smiles from my baby love. 

Monday, July 29, 2013

New Sunshine

Kaitlin is now 5 days old.:) 🎉 The passed days have been rough, kulang sa tulog, dami adjustments sa bahay, etc
but the joy in our hearts is beyond measure. Kaitlin indeed brings new sunshine in our everyday.

We visited the pedia today for her check up. Doctor said she's very ok. Weee! Praise God for making our baby normal, healthy, strong, and pretty like mommy, just as we've prayed for. :))

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Great Kaitlin Wait

The Duchess gave birth yesterday, ending the "Great Kate Wait". And today, our great wait for Kaitlin starts. We had our weekly checkup this morning and the doctor said my cervix is 3cm wide with a tinge of blood on my discharge. My placenta is also starting to mature and so she advised me to be admitted this afternoon.

Since my induction at 4pm, not much has happened except for irregular, not-so-painful contractions, and bloody discharge. So I guess, the wait will still take longer. 

Still, gratefulness embraces our hearts because this wait will be over at least in the next 24hrs. Soon we'll be able to see and hold our beautiful baby Kaitlin. Let's do this baby!!!

Surely your goodness and faithfulness will pursue me all my days, and I will live in the Lord 's house for the rest of my life.

The book of Psalms is my fave part of the Bible. While waiting for Kaitlin's birth, I read a chapter a day. It's just so amazing that the date today corresponds to Psalm 23, one of the most encouraging chapters of the book. 

Saturday, July 20, 2013

It's a journey

Yes, I'm starting to become impatient.:) This baby is kinda taking long to go out. She's still enjoying her stay inside me. Sweet. haha.

Meanwhile, Totskie and I are trying to savor these last days without the baby. Last night we went out for a dinner date then walked hand on hand at Freedom Park.

These days also led me closer to God. So I will never say that I've wasted days waiting for the baby. Yes, I constantly pray for baby to come out, but God also strengthened my faith and spoke wonders to my heart these passed days. Ang sarap ng feeling.:) I feel so secured in Him. 

Following the Doctor's Advice

Yesterday, I followed my OB's advice yo go to the mall! Para daw matagtag si baby at lumabas na. I don't know if it was a half-meant joke but I wanted to do it anyway.:)

I bought some baby things like cutie hangers, baby blanket with popsicle design, and nail clipper. I'm really excited to see you, baby! 

Alika came with us, and she enjoyed using the cart, nakataas pa paa!

I've been wanting to visit NBS these passed days because I need to get ideas for my next publication. (Thank God I was able to finish two publications before my leave.) Kailangan may pasabog agad pagbalik sa office!:) And God is soo good  because He led me to this book:

Totskie was left at home because of work. And when I came back home I was surprised to see baby's rocker on our bed! My mom bought this months ago and we've been wanting to assemble it but we opted to wait for baby's arrival.

Last night, I had contractions for 45mins. Akala ko yun na! Baby, are you waiting for Christmas? Malayo pa yun!!! Eto kembot all the way nanaman siya kagabi. 

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

I will sing

The Lord strengthens and protects me;
I trust in Him with all my heart.
I am rescued and my heart is full of joy;
I will sing to Him in gratitude.
Psalm 28:7

Wednesday, July 10, 2013


I barely slept last night. I did all I can to get some sleep-watched TV, played games on  phone, read a book, ate eggnog, and even counted sheeps. Finally at around 2am, I dozed off. And after about an hour, I woke up because I had to pee. Then I felt the pain. My head was aching. Parang binabaak na tumitibok. Add to that the hunger pangs I was trying to ignore because I just wanted to sleep.I was already crying/lamenting to God to make me sleep. 

At around 5am, our househelp arrived and I smelled breakfast! So I finally ate, took up a tablet of paracetamol and tried to sleep again. But still, the super headache did not go away and so I couldn't get sleep.

Totskie finally woke up before 8am and massaged my head. I traded place with him in bed and embraced him. Finally, nakatulog na ko! I woke up at 10 and my head was still aching. So I took a bath and called our masseur. Dalwang palakpak lang andyan na. Haha. Ang sarap. Now I'm feeling superrr better.:D

Thank God I'm already on leave, if not I would have endured the pain in the office. Thank God for that superrr pain, I know it's just a rehearsal for the birth pains that I'm expecting to experience soon. Thank God that I'll get through it because my God is superrrr!

Monday, July 8, 2013

8cm to go!

Just had our weekly check up. Baby is doing good so she got free himas on the head from OB.:)) My tummy is quite low now that's why I'm not experiencing heartburns anymore. My cervix is about 2cm dilated. And I lost weight. Weird.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

On Leave

Finally, I'm on my first day of maternity leave. Yehey! :D I still got some work to do though but it just feels so great to be at home the whole day. Hihi.

I've been having contractions these passed few days but I'm not yet in labor. Last night, I felt the most painful contractions so far but I didn't feel it again up to now. So it's just a practice, I guess. :)

It's also so amazing that God taught me to let go of my fears about giving birth. There are a lot of scary stories all around but now I'm at peace that the Lord will hold my hand (and Kaitlin's as well) while I'm giving birth. I'm also thankful for the persons who kept on reminding me that I can do this.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Picnic Date

Totskie asked me to have a dinner date with him tonight. We can't choose which resto to go so we decided to have a picnic at Freedom Park. Double purpose na dn, magwalking sana kmi after.

So I prepared rice, juice, tomatoes, and banana then we bought lettuce and cooked viand. When we arrived at the field, it was already drizzling! We just ate inside the car.:) We still managed to enjoy our date. Ang saya. <3 Thank You Lord for this love!

Totskie eating our dessert: fried bananas with caramel and cashew

Monday, July 1, 2013

Worth it

I just had my first internal exam. Cervix is 1cm wide and baby's head is in the birth canal. The weight I gained is within normal range. Diet and exercise (walking lang naman) have been effective.  Feeling ko lang nakaperfect ako sa long exam ng BIO101.:)) Thank you po Lord!

I receive a lot of messages from good friends telling me they are praying for us. God knows how grateful I am to have such support. Some of them are already moms and they say one thing about giving birth-it will all be worth it. 

Baby, labas ka na next week? hihi. We're so excited to see you!

Sunday, June 30, 2013

July is here!

Last year, I was fervently waiting for September to come because I would be marrying the man love most. Then two months after our wedding, we learned that we'll be having a baby by July 2013. And July is finally here!!! I can't wait to see our baby girl! :D

I'm just so thankful that we've reached this month. So many things happened during my pregnancy and there were times when I can't help but be affected. I super thank the Lord because my baby is so strong and brave. She fought battles with me. I know in my heart that she'll grow up to be a woman of strong faith because that's exactly what God wants every woman to be. *lablab baby*

Friday, June 28, 2013

Maternity leave

This coming Monday marks my 37th week of pregnancy. That means that baby Kaitlin has reached full term and will be in very good condition if she decides to go out anytime.:) The coming week is also my last week to work before I go on maternity leave. I super thank the Lord for giving me this 2 mos off from work and focus on my family. I'm so excited to spend time at home and wait for my baby to come out. :))

Drinking Anmum Vanilla Mango while finishing my targets :)

Saturday, June 22, 2013

32 Years of Grace

Yesterday, our ministry Couples for Christ celebrated its 32nd anniversary. Thirty two years is BIG but if I would count the times that this ministry has been used by God to bless me, that would be much BIGGER, times the number of people who experienced the same grace I had all those years of being in the ministry.

If I remember it right, I was in Grade 4 (1995) when I joined Kids for Christ. I still have vivid memories of our summer camp and regular gatherings where we always sing:

We belong to Kids for Christ, we're the angels of the Lord
We belong to Jesus Christ, He's the brother of us all.
We will build a bright new world like a paradise...

Then in 1999, I joined Youth for Christ. The experiences I had during those years of being a YFC really molded me to be who I am today.

during one of our PCG meetings at Tito Oca's resort

SEA games?!?

regional SHOUT in Bulalacao, Mindoro

In 2006, I joined Singles for Christ. The spiritual values I've learned from YFC became more mature and equipped me for building my own family.

my birthday bash with SFCs

HH mtg in Calauan

And this year, we finally entered Couples for Christ!

showing our covenant cards after our dedication 

Kaitlin's P&Y Shower

Dear Baby Kaitlin,

You are sooo loved. Your Titas surprised us today with a baby shower for you! I know they were up to something but I wasn't expecting that most of my closest girl friends would be there. It was very fun! Surely you knew that already 'coz you heard mom laughed so hard many times during the party. They also wrote their wishes for you. Sooo sweeet!

I'm so thankful to have such friends. I know when you grow up you'll also find girl friends that you'll treasure as much as I value them.

Here are some of our pics with your lovely Titas:

super chocolatey cupcakes baked by momsi

your Titas TRIED to draw you on paper plates :)

This is Mommy's best friend, your Ninang Ching.
She just gave birth to your future best friend , Sky. :D

These are Mommy's friends since grade school. They made the decors for the party.

These are your Titas from SFC. They were the most behaved guests in the party. hehe.

These Titas are my high school friends.

Our group pic with you!

Of course, Daddy was supportive as ever!

Tita Mariel especially made paper clips as your party's souvenir. Hope you grow up to be as creative as she is!

Tita Mini wrote the funniest wishes for you. :D