Tuesday, November 24, 2015

The imperfect mom

I spent the whole day with Katy. Totskie had an event in Manila and our on-call caregiver needed to stay home to take care of her sick baby. The only option was for me to bring Katy to the office.

I love every moment with Katy. If I would choose to work of stay with her, I would always choose to be with her. But today has been extra challenging. We both have colds and all I wanted to do was to take a nap, while all she wanted was Mommy. Whenever she would lose my attention, she would throw tantrums, even when we were in the office. When we arrived home, she remained clingy and demanding. Then suddenly, I felt so tired and exhausted, I shook her shoulders and yelled at her. She cried more loudly and I felt worse about myself and our situation. I hugged her and said sorry about what I did. I bought some time off when I lend her my phone. I began washing her milk bottles and prayed to ask the Lord's forgiveness for what I've done to Katy. I felt God's comforting presence right away. This made me realize how limited I am as a mother, and how unlimited God is to us. He doesn't mind if we're clingy and demanding of His attention, in fact, He loves that. 

And now, Katy is fast asleep and I miss her already. 

Monday, November 23, 2015

i already have it

this morning, i delivered an impromtu speech during our book launch in sm dasma. it started good but i was lost for words towards the end. felt bad a bit, kahiya sa boss. but then i remembered the takeaway point from kcon yesterday, "i already have it." no matter what i do good or do wrong, i'm the apple of God's eyes. i am amazing no matter what. :)