Friday, July 28, 2017


I've been on "autopilot mode" for the last few weeks.

No yaya+household chores+work+personal projects+nursing+katy's bday=super stress. 

But then I choose not to feel the stress. I just sleep at night then wake up and do the chacha. However, something happened tonight and the autopilot button got switched off. My body suddenly felt heavy, as if I was going to get sick. I felt like crying, and so I did. Tapos nag-usap kami ng masinsinan ni God.

I remember a conversation I had this afternoon with a friend. She said she got an answered prayer, but still her life is sad. And this was my reply:

Ganun siguro talaga. Ang buhay naman hindi binibigay sa atin para maging masaya tayo. Binibigay ito para maging makabuluhan.

So tonight, during my drama, I asked myself, "Makabuluhan ba ang buhay ko?" The answer is YES. Then I hugged my sleeping husband and kids. 

Good night. 

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Katy's unconditional love for Jesus

It's another meaningful Holy Week for me. This year, I saw Jesus' suffering through the eyes of my 3-yr old daughter, Katy. 

During one of the talks in the Kerygma Lenten Recollection, the speaker showed a clip from The Passion of the Christ. I looked at Katy and observed how she would react to the video. She was just quiet so I thought she did not understand. A few seconds after the video was shown, I saw Katy's tears fall down. I asked her why and she said, "Ayaw ko hurt si Jesus." We hugged her right away and told her that Jesus is OK now. But she continued to weep. I told her that Jesus had to get hurt so all the bad that we did will be erased and that we'll all be good. It was a failed attempt to pacify and teach her a lesson because she continued crying for Jesus. Her daddy then intervened and took her out for some chocolate treat. 

Many times during the day, she recalled Jesus' passion, probably because of the big picture of Jesus hanging on our wall. I asked help from other mommy friends on how to explain things to her. One of our ninangs told me to say something like this: Jesus was a teacher before. He taught good things to people but some of them thought that he was bad. So they hurt Him until He died. But because He's the son of God, he became alive again after three days. Now, He's healed and happy loving and watching over us.

After hearing this, Katy finally said she's now happy for Jesus. 

I realized that Katy's love for Jesus is pure and unconditional. She does not care if Jesus suffered for her. All she wanted was to love Jesus and for Him to ne OK and happy. I wish I have the same heart as hers.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Spoiler Alert

I have an officemate who is fond of knowing the ending of movies, series, or books. The moment she gets a new book, she would read the first and last chapters first before reading what happened in between. Whenever she gets a new episode in a TV series, she would watch the ending first. I find it weird because it seems like she’s losing the excitement by knowing how the story ends. But in tough times, I follow her example. Whenever I feel drained of hope about reaching my dreams, I ask God for His spoiler alert. And recently, this is what He said to me:

I have many more things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now. But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all truth…So (also) you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy away from you.”
(John 16: 12-13 and 22)

So there He is, God promising “joy that cannot be taken away” from us. Isn’t that a spoiler alert that we are all leading to reaching our dreams? Just like most of us, God loves happy endings. And when He wrote our lives’ stories, He was so giddy in ending them with something that will make us smile, dance, laugh, cry, and praise Him all at the same time.

Thank You, Lord, for being before us in reaching our dreams. Thank You in advance for the joy that will be with us forever.


They say that giving birth is one of the most challenging experiences a woman faces. By giving birth to two kids, I could attest how much challenging giving birth indeed is. However, this challenge only lasts for several hours or days. For me, the most challenging of all tasks is to be a parent itself.

One day, I bathed my kids at the same time thinking that my toddler would enjoy the time spent together with her baby sister. She enjoyed it so much that while I was bathing her baby sister, she started throwing water all over! I instantly got pissed and yelled at her to stop. Of course, she didn’t. She just laughed and continued her water game. I had to cover us with the shower curtain to keep the baby from the splashing water. After bath time, that’s the only time when my toddler said, “Sorry, Mommy.”

Such instances make me feel limited as a parent. I felt bad that I easily shouted at my child. I felt inefficient because I didn’t know how to make her stop. I’ve been reading about parenting but still, it seems like parenting a toddler is just impossible. Then God revealed to me the best parenting style and that is following God’s way of loving us. From then on, I searched God more every day, with the desire to know my Father better and at the same time be a better parent to my kids.

One of the best parenting lessons I’ve learned so far is that my Father forgives me on the spot. At the very moment that I sin, He is forgiving me. Thus, He does not shout at me. Yes, He feels hurt about my wrongdoing, but He chooses to see me as I am: a beautiful person that He has made. He has this reset button in His mind that erases all my dirt and shame, making me new every time. And the moment I realize this, that’s when I see His arms opened wide, waiting for me to love Him back and say, “Sorry, Father.”

Monday, January 23, 2017

Glimpse of fullness

Several years ago, I met two blind persons in Bahay Pag-ibig, a home for the aged. 

The first one is Ate Chat. Her eyes got stabbed while his husband was maltreating her. She prayed for the Lord’s guidance and left their home with just 20 pesos in her pocket. After some months in DSWD, she found a home in Bahay Pag-ibig. There she found God and fell in love with Him.

I was really amazed at how she talks and does things for herself. She made me feel that she CAN see. She told me how God inspires her every day. While holding hands, we prayed together a prayer taught to her by God in her dream. Ate Chat taught me to seek God even in the dark.

In the next room, I met a smiling shy man named Kuya Teody. He looks 10 years younger than Ate Chat. Unlike Ate Chat, Kuya Teody is partially blind. He could still see light and shadows. He said the doctors told him he could still see if he could find someone to sponsor his treatment. He got blind because of an accident in his workplace. When he was hospitalized for several days, his wife left him and never came back. While he was telling his story, I felt his pain and struggle between hope and misery. 

We also talked about God, but not as much as Ate Chat and I did. I’m not comparing who’s closer to God. I believe that Ate Chat just found the light first and soon I know Kuya Teody will, maybe through a sponsor or by embracing peace what his relationship with the Lord is offering. 

The story of Ate Chat and Kuya Teody reminds me to value life. May I be like Kuya Teody who keeps hoping for the best. May I be like Ate Chat who trusts God in her every step. Like them, I will look forward to the day when I will see my God eye-to-eye and face-to-face.

Friday, January 20, 2017


Totskie and I started off as good friends. Whenever we want to explain the intensity of joy or pain that we feel, we use the scale of 1-10, with 1 as lowest and 10 as highest. 

Today, we reached 10. We have decided to love each other every day for 10 years. For those years, we felt joy in 10, and hurt in 10. There were times when it felt like the love is new and addicting. There were also days when we doubted if we would reach this day. 

Love is crazy.

And so are we. 

Thank You, God, for this love. 

To Totskie,

Let's be fools for more decades in this lifetime. 

I love you. You still are my favorite blessing.

Thursday, January 5, 2017

Coming home

Skipped going gome for lunch today because I had a radio interview via phone patch (ehem). Karis did her usual hunger strike from milk. So when clock strikes 5, I ran home! And when she saw me, she was filled with joy as if saying, "Here's my milk, finally!" 

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Thankful Tin

Woke up with a gloomy vibe today. To straighten things up, it's time to put default attitude on: BE THANKFUL.

Thank You, Lord for...
1. giving us a car and a driver who looks like Piolo (according to him)
2. Karis' super smiley face
3. seeing my brother everyday (he used to work abroad for yearsss)
4. Katy's utot joke (she would kembot beside you and make farting sounds with her mouth)
5. Ate Perla is back to take care of my kids 🤗 (now I look fresh often).

Monday, January 2, 2017

Best of 2016

2016 passed by in a blur. Most of the days were spent in the bedroom, taking care of Karis. But then, 2016 brought so many blessings that I won't forget. Checked my life goals for 2016 and checked at least three.

1. Give birth to Karis via VBAC. I don't judge mommies who gave birth by C-section. I gave birth to my firstborn, Katy, thru that cute incision. BUT because Katy is still a baby is so many ways, I needed to heal fast to take care of two babies. And God granted my prayer for normal delivery. 

2. Homeschool Katy while I was on mayernity leave. Boy, this was tough! I have two school years of experience teaching kids but I never thought teaching my own kiddo would be so much challenging! It made me realize that homeschooling is probably not for us. For now. 😂

3. Win a writing prize. Wrote the essay during the wee hours of the morning, hours before deadline. Read it a few times then sent. Got the 3rd place. Now I'm an award-winning writer. All credits go to my Maker. 

Now I'm so excited to accomplish more in 2017. Thank You in advance, Lord!